A Rare Moment of Self-Disclosure
It’s been a little over a month since I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. That’s the kind with “insulin resistance.” Due to my body’s love/hate relationship with insulin, my blood sugar level is often too high.I’ve been thinking about blood a lot these days. I stick my finger at least once a day and see this strange red, life-giving liquid. It’s an interesting way to put together an organism isn’t it? All of these tissues need oxygen and nutrients and energy. Why not get it there with a red liquid?
And there is that old saying- “Blood is thicker than water,” which vaguely has something to do with families and the ties that bind. I never fully understood that saying, but one thing is for sure. I wish it weren’t true. I wish blood were at most as thin as water. I wish blood couldn’t possibly strain the very vessels that carry it. I wouldn’t have needed to revolutionize my life. I wouldn’t have to be so obsessed with numbers, feeling like Harold Crick in Stranger Than Fiction. I wouldn’t have to be mindful of possible complications should I let this disease get out of control. I wouldn’t have to blah, blah, blah.
The fact is, friends, that kind of wishful thinking will get me nowhere.
Here’s what I think about instead…I think about my life as it is. Since I started to get hunches about this diabetes thing a couple years ago I have steadily adopted a more active and healthy lifestyle. I am now lighter (both physically and emotionally) than I have been in many, many years. And I am only going to get lighter. I approach the circumstances of life much more positively and less fatalistically. I know very little of the dread that used to plague my visions of the future. It’s probably because of a bunch of chemicals and hormones and who-knows-what swirling around inside of me that activates when you eat well and move around. Whatever the methodology, I am a much happier person these days.
If it took diabetes to shock me out of the catatonia of my previous life, so be it.
Labels: Diabetes
posted by Mike @ 9:53 PM
5 Comments:
::APPLAUSE::
So proud of you mike!
Good luck, Mike! I know that can be tough to deal with.
Some say we all need an adversary to make us better, to help us develop the qualities which make us happier, like compassion, patience, and a million more. I get the sense that you are trying to have that kind of mindset and I admire that. I strive for that - to turn straw into gold.
Even the Dalai Llama calls the Chinese "My friends, the enemy."
Thanks, you guys. I wasn't really asking for a pat on the back. Really I was just doing reporting more than anything else. But I will definitely take encouragement just the same!
In the grand scheme of things, I've got it really easy. I can think of MUCH worse "adversaries."
I think of my friend Chris going through radiation implants right now. Now there's a dude who we could learn from!
Steven--did you and Susan have that kid yet?
I wish you'd start a blog! :-)
Yes! Severin Eugene Emerson Ebert Stark is here!
8 pounds 7 ounces 22 inches long!
check www.myspace.com/stevenstark for a pic!
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