Sic Semper Tyrannis

"Going Home" for My Brother's Wedding- Part One

So, my older brother Todd got married a couple weeks ago in Savannah, GA. I traveled down there with my parents. They have an Airstream trailer that they pull behind their truck and that was my home, parked in a KOA campground for a week. Now, despite the fact that the trailer seems suited to two people living in it fairly comfortably and I like my space, the road trip with mom and dad wasn’t too bad. (Thank the lord for my new iPod, however, which drowned out the sound of Garrison Keillor’s voice on the radio for at least hundreds of miles.)

I was reminded that 75% of all my communication with my mom is one-way: namely, her giving me instructions. However, it still beat dishing out the dough for a hotel room. I am not a rich man. So, who knows how well my parents thought the week went, living with their son. Me? No real complaints.

A lot of my week was spent sitting in a lawn chair watching ducks swim in a pond. That’s about as close to a zen-like state as I get. The rest of the time was spent fulfilling familial obligations. This is most of what I dreaded for three reasons: 1) I hardly ever talk to the part of my family who live in Savannah. I usually go at least four or five years without seeing them in person and probably a year or so without ever talking to them on the phone. 2) Related to #1, I have very little in common with my brothers. We are very different types of people. This makes conversation feel very strained for me. 3) Conversation feels very strained for me about 80% of the time anyway. I am not a very social creature and I fear it’s getting worse as I get older. These three factors alone made me not look forward to this wedding week. Add to the mix all of the goofy traditions and expectations that accompany a wedding and rehearsal, etc. and there was the potential for misery for me. (All that said, I’m still happy for my brother and his getting hitched.)

But I must say, things went A LOT better than I could foresee. Here are some of the things that went well. I ate very well all week. I’ve never eaten so much fresh shrimp in all my life. And 9 times out of 10 I didn’t have to pay for it.

I bonded with my nephew, Mark Jr. who is in Pre-K right now. Everybody who knows me knows my disdain for children, but Mark is an exceptional little kid. He is calm most of the time and has no problem with just sitting and talking. Even though he didn’t let on, I think he was amazed at the physical strength of his uncle as he tried to arm wrestle. But he found me indefatigable. Those were his words, not mine.

Even though my one excursion off to the beach by myself was cut short by a final tux fitting, I was pleased to meet the groomsmen and wife from Texas, Darren, Eddie and Christina-who turned out to be hella nice folks, and I was blown away by the care that they have for my brother. (These folks, taking the time to fly in from Texas, scandalized the Stutzman family from up north who, for whatever reasons, didn’t make it to the wedding.) Anyway, meeting the Spauldings was one of the highlights of the trip for me, which made the rehearsal dinner much more enjoyable, having them to talk to.

It was also interesting to watch my parents deal with stress, as they were responsible for pulling off the rehearsal dinner. It seems that how I deal with stress is genetic-just put your shoulder to the wheel and visualize about when it will all be over- the Stutzman work ethic.

The actual wedding was quaint- a Catholic wedding in the chapel of an old orphanage for girls, where the bride works. Father O’Brien was a funny old guy with a thick Irish accent, very particular about how things should be done. And watching his shaky hands prepare the eucharist got me to thinking about faith and perseverance. I wondered how much the world had changed since that guy in the white robes was in school, first deciding that he was going to be a priest. I wondered what struggles and joys he had endured to bring him to that exact place in his life. The Catholic world is still a mystery to me, but I am always intrigued whenever my world intersects with it.

posted by Mike @ 2:47 PM