January 25th
My friends, today is a day of observance for me. It was 18 years ago today that my family moved to Oklahoma City from Savannah, Georgia. January 25, 1988. I think it was a singular event in my life. Sometimes I wonder how differently my life would have turned out if we had stayed there in the city of my birth. And of course, it’s unknowable. But I wonder, who would be my friends right now? What would I be doing for a living? Where would I be living? All of these questions are accompanied by a vague sadness. Something about looking back on childhood memories of people, places and things is accompanied by melancholy for me. Which is not to say that my childhood was bad. I was a pretty happy kid. Might have spent a tad too much time by myself. But I can’t complain.Thomas Wolfe wrote “you can’t go home again,” and that has been my experience. Every time I go back to Savannah, (which is not often at all); I find that things are never quite as I remember them. The reality of the situation is that “home” doesn’t really exist anymore. It was the product of my perception until fifth grade when we moved. I’ve got a new “home” now.
Like I said, moving half way across the country can’t help but affect you. I’m pretty sure that from that point on, I became the quiet person I am still today. That first day of fifth grade with all new kids and all new everything was nerve-wracking to say the least. I can’t imagine being a parent and leaving your shy little kid to fend for himself for the day. That would break my heart.
Anyway, the details of that first day are locked away and I’ll probably never tell anyone about it. Some things I like to keep just for me.
I just got done reading Anne Lamott’s Traveling Mercies, which may explain today’s wistfulness and soft underbelly.
posted by Mike @ 1:06 PM
2 Comments:
I was the "new kid in school" 3 times in my childhood/adolescence and it has definitely affected who I am today.
I never moved, but I did change from private school to public school in 4th grade, and it totally changed who I was. At private school I was that annoying little kid (perhaps like Hermione) ..you know I raised my hand to answer every question, I ran to the board to do math problems, and was ALWAYS the first one done. I knew all the bible answers...i read my whole bible through that year and got a poster for it (I went to a christian school).
The next year I went to public school, changed my name from Teri to Theresa and hardly ever spoke a word again.
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